Embracing Rejection: A Doorway to Freedom
Rejection. Just the sound of the word stings, doesn’t it? It’s a closed door, a turned back, a missed opportunity. We’ve all been there—left out of a gathering, passed over for a promotion, or had our hearts handed back to us in pieces. But what if I told you that rejection is not the tragedy you believe it to be, but rather a kind of liberation?
The Illusion of Loss
Anthony de Mello often spoke about how our suffering comes not from the events themselves but from our attachments and illusions. Rejection feels painful because it threatens the stories we tell ourselves: “I need their approval to be worthy.” “My happiness depends on this job.” “Without this relationship, I am incomplete.”
Notice what’s happening here. The pain of rejection is not a result of what was taken away but of the lie that something outside of you held the key to your peace. When you believe this lie, rejection feels like a theft. But if you awaken to the truth, rejection is a gift—it cuts away the false, the unnecessary, the distractions from your true self.
Rejection as Reality’s Redirection
Rejection is reality’s way of saying, “Not this way.” It’s not personal. The universe is not conspiring against you; it is conspiring for you. What feels like a door slamming shut is often a gentle push towards the path you are meant to take.
Imagine a river flowing down a mountain. When it encounters a boulder, does it lament and stop? No, it simply flows around it. The boulder is not an enemy; it is part of the river’s journey. The river’s goal is not to resist but to continue flowing.
You are the river. Rejection is just a boulder. Flow around it.
The Freedom of Releasing Control
One of de Mello’s profound insights was the realization that our suffering often comes from our need to control outcomes. We want people to say yes. We want circumstances to align with our desires. When they don’t, we suffer.
But what if you let go of this need? What if you approached life with curiosity instead of expectation? Instead of saying, “This must happen,” try saying, “Let’s see what happens.” Instead of clinging to outcomes, embrace experiences.
When you are no longer afraid of rejection, you become fearless. You become free.
Turning Rejection into Inquiry
The next time you face rejection, don’t resist it. Instead, get curious:
“What belief about myself is being challenged here?”
“What expectation did I hold that caused this pain?”
“How can I flow around this obstacle?”
By turning rejection into inquiry, you transform it from an enemy into a teacher.
The Beauty of Detachment
Detachment doesn’t mean apathy. It means engaging fully with life while understanding that your worth, your joy, your peace, are not at stake. You play the game, but the outcome does not define you.
When rejection comes, and it will, let it brush past you like a breeze. Feel it, but do not become it. Let it clear the air, show you the path, and remind you of the freedom you always had—the freedom to choose your response, to find joy within, and to keep flowing forward.
Final Thought
Rejection is not a closed door but an open invitation—to see life differently, to release illusions, and to find the unshakable ground beneath your feet. In this space, you are untouchable. You are free.
After all, as Anthony de Mello might remind us, the only thing standing between you and liberation is the thought that rejection is anything more than an illusion. Wake up, and see it for what it is—a passing cloud in the vast sky of who you truly are.
Add comment
Comments